Sunday, June 10, 2012

running, tears, realization and goals

I miss my blog.  I miss running.  I miss working out.  I miss training.  I miss my long runs on Saturday and I very much miss the pride and sense of accomplishment of logging these runs.  I miss it all, and I knew it missed it all but it became very clear to me when I started a run today...and was overcome with emotion.  Tears.  It's even hard to talk about it or just to even type it.  But I ask, "how does a person even begin to miss running?"  Let me explain.

About a week before my first half marathon, I was hired at a pharmaceutical corporation in Omaha.  I was high on life, I was in full training mode AND I finally found full time work.  I strongly felt that being somewhat 'fit' had helped my confidence level and helped me to find a decent job.  I then completed my first half on April 14, and started fresh and eager at my new job on April 30 at 8:00 am.  I even ran three miles that night.  I was determined to not be *that* person who said they couldn't work AND work out.

I ran again, two weeks later...three miles.  I really was becoming *that* person of excuses, reasons to not run, not put my health first, not put my love of running before my new-found love of working.  I ran again two weeks later.  My eating habits were also slipping, however, I always stayed 'on-track' with my food, especially during work hours.  I never went out to eat one time.  I guess I thought if I didn't eat out for lunch, that was a victory of some sorts.  I think I was trying to pat myself on the back, somewhere.

I also desperately needed new running shoes.  Yet, another excuse.

What was happening to me?

Yes, I've re-gained some weight.  Seven pounds.  <now entering.... accountability >

Twenty four hours in a day...and I couldn't spare 45-60 minutes for a run or work out?  It was time to set some goals (which I need), buckle up and get back on that horse.

I got new running shoes.

I saved my half-marathon running plan on my phone and desktop.

I went here get my butt in gear and stop being lame and full of excuses and utter laziness - found my half and will register this week.

I did a short run today to get a feel for my new Mizuno's ....I started running, then cried.  I think running missed me as much as I've missed running.  I kept running....however it was just short of two miles.  And hot.  So hot.

I realized that running is a part of me being me.  I love the structure of a training plan.  I need goals to keep me going and striving for more.  I love being proud of myself.  I love feeling great.  I love feeling fit.

I love to run.  I'm back and determined to be better than ever.



p.s.  I really love my job.  So far.

6 comments:

  1. I am proud of you! It's easy to fall off the wagon...it's tough to jump back on, but here you are.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That you're back out there putting the miles in is a really good thing; that you see yourself as a runner ensures that while you may take some time off, you'll probably never give it up, which is an even better thing.

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  3. One of the reasons why I’ve been doing more real life posts is because I see other bloggers doing them successfully and I get jealous. They make me want to post too! That’s inspiration. Inspiring other bloggers is what you should aim for, so if you’re inspiring me (or others), you’re right on track!
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