Sunday, June 10, 2012

running, tears, realization and goals

I miss my blog.  I miss running.  I miss working out.  I miss training.  I miss my long runs on Saturday and I very much miss the pride and sense of accomplishment of logging these runs.  I miss it all, and I knew it missed it all but it became very clear to me when I started a run today...and was overcome with emotion.  Tears.  It's even hard to talk about it or just to even type it.  But I ask, "how does a person even begin to miss running?"  Let me explain.

About a week before my first half marathon, I was hired at a pharmaceutical corporation in Omaha.  I was high on life, I was in full training mode AND I finally found full time work.  I strongly felt that being somewhat 'fit' had helped my confidence level and helped me to find a decent job.  I then completed my first half on April 14, and started fresh and eager at my new job on April 30 at 8:00 am.  I even ran three miles that night.  I was determined to not be *that* person who said they couldn't work AND work out.

I ran again, two weeks later...three miles.  I really was becoming *that* person of excuses, reasons to not run, not put my health first, not put my love of running before my new-found love of working.  I ran again two weeks later.  My eating habits were also slipping, however, I always stayed 'on-track' with my food, especially during work hours.  I never went out to eat one time.  I guess I thought if I didn't eat out for lunch, that was a victory of some sorts.  I think I was trying to pat myself on the back, somewhere.

I also desperately needed new running shoes.  Yet, another excuse.

What was happening to me?

Yes, I've re-gained some weight.  Seven pounds.  <now entering.... accountability >

Twenty four hours in a day...and I couldn't spare 45-60 minutes for a run or work out?  It was time to set some goals (which I need), buckle up and get back on that horse.

I got new running shoes.

I saved my half-marathon running plan on my phone and desktop.

I went here get my butt in gear and stop being lame and full of excuses and utter laziness - found my half and will register this week.

I did a short run today to get a feel for my new Mizuno's ....I started running, then cried.  I think running missed me as much as I've missed running.  I kept running....however it was just short of two miles.  And hot.  So hot.

I realized that running is a part of me being me.  I love the structure of a training plan.  I need goals to keep me going and striving for more.  I love being proud of myself.  I love feeling great.  I love feeling fit.

I love to run.  I'm back and determined to be better than ever.



p.s.  I really love my job.  So far.

2 comments:

  1. I am proud of you! It's easy to fall off the wagon...it's tough to jump back on, but here you are.

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  2. That you're back out there putting the miles in is a really good thing; that you see yourself as a runner ensures that while you may take some time off, you'll probably never give it up, which is an even better thing.

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